Feb. 26th

[the_huffster]

So the last time I updated (when I said that I saw my dad briefly) was the last time I saw my dad today (but he's not dead cos I know how that looks). My brother and grandpa were with him while me and my mom were at the house, and the plan was to switch so I could visit with him until visiting hours were over. That didn't happen.

3 hours ago, I picked up my brother to take him home so he could go get dinner with some friends. I get to the hospital and my brother texts me to say that our dad is talking to his mom on my brother's cell phone. So instead of going inside to his room while my grandpa smoked (since 2 people could be the room), I sat in my car in the parking lot until my brother came to my car.

So I drive my brother home while my grandpa stays with my dad until me and my mom get there. My brother decides not to go out and instead we (me, my mom and my brother) go out to eat at Red Robin. By the time we're done with dinner, visiting hours are almost over and I just go home with my brother. And even when I did see my dad for that brief period, I didn't say anything....just sat in the chair and let the others talk.

Does it make me a bad daughter if I'm kinda glad that I didn't have to see my dad today? It's not that I don't wanna see him, but....it's hard to explain. I just hope they can figure all this shit out tomorrow after his last test, otherwise I have a feeling that I'll be stressing during my classes Tuesday.

Comments

[bobbymcg.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna use the "GTFO Shilo" icon to cheer you up. *changes icon from default*

Ok no it doesn't make you a bad daughter. I think it's not that you don't want to see him but more like you don't want to see him laying the bed hooked up to all those machines. You know? I mean it's your dad, no one wants to see their dad like that. . . well maybe Brian but he's a completely different story. (<-not totally kidding there)

Also I have to say, it's weird you mention tuesday because that's when my mom goes in for knee surgery.

[the-huffster.livejournal.com]

1. The icon totally cheered me up -laughs-

2. I get what you're saying, and I know you aren't kidding about Brian

3. That is weird

BTW, I'm really gonna try to have a video up tonight

[bobbymcg.livejournal.com]

Yay for the video and for my icon cheering you up. :D

I would be working on a video if I hadn't stormed out of my living room and into my room. I've been think about going to get my laptop. but I don't know, i'm kinda pissed off with everyone.

oh and yeah when I was typing "knee surgery" zydrate anatomy was running through my head, it was so hard not to type "surgery, surgery"

[the-huffster.livejournal.com]

-giggles- That reminds me! (kinda) I once made my own version of Zydrate Anatomy, but it was with Monster...and it was funny.

It was like 'Monster comes in a little glass (A little glass vial? A little glass vial). And the glass vial goes into the can like a battery (Battery). And the can goes somewhere against your anatomy (Anatomy). And when the can is gone it fills you up with energy (Energy).'

[bobbymcg.livejournal.com]

LOL Nice!

[rebelxxwaltz.livejournal.com]

Those feelings definitely don't make you a bad daughter or a bad person. Believe me, I know what you're going through. When my dad was in the hospital over the summer there were times that I didn't want to be there, even though I wanted to be with him.

When your loved one is laying in a hospital bed and everything around you is so unfamiliar and hard to understand, it can make you feel a bit lost. People coming in and out of the room, everything smelling like hospital...not to mention the stress of the situation to begin with. And the worst part is, there's nothing you can really *do*. The only point of you being there is just to *be* there, and it can make you feel kinda helpless.

Oh, and the talking (or not talking) thing... I understand that, too. Because you don't want to be like, "so dad, how's things here in the hospital? Bet you're just having a totally awesome time here!" and sometimes there just doesn't seem to be anything to say that's worth saying. Like, when my dad was in the hospital he couldn't eat solid foods for awhile. So I couldn't be like, "oh I made this really awesome dinner last night, you would have loved it". We used to talk about food a lot, so it had me grasping at straws sometimes for something else to talk about.

I'll stop babbling now, but I just wanted you to know that you shouldn't feel bad. And I hope everything will turn out okay for your dad!

[the-huffster.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it made me feel better (along with what everyone else has been saying). I think it's hitting me harder cos my dad's 39 with no history of heart problems and this just happened outta the blue while he was filling my brother's car.

And it's weird cos my brother keeps asking questions that have no answers and he's getting mad at me for not being worried...it's just a really weird time in my house -shakes head-