the_huffster | Fic: Eggbert

Title: Eggbert
Author: the_huffster
Pairing: Slight Buffy/Giles
Rating: G
Timeline: During Season 2, 'Bad Eggs'
Synopsis: Buffy has a talk with Giles about all of her concerns about being a single mom to her egg.
Author's Note: This idea came to me while I was watching 'Bad Eggs' and talking to

bobbymcg about the B/G-ness the episode could potentially have. And about how similar the name 'Eggbert' sounded to 'Rupert'

Buffy narrowed her eyes as she looked at the egg, a small frown forming.

“I really don’t wanna be a single mom to an egg,” she sighed. “I mean, if Imaginary-Egg Dad didn’t wanna stick around…what does that say about me, Giles?”

“Hm?” Giles looked up from the book he had been reading, heaving a sigh when he realized Buffy was still going on about the egg. “Buffy, there are more important matters at hand right now. Besides, it’s an assignment for your class. Not a glimpse into your future.”

The Slayer carefully set the egg on the table and stared at her Watcher, getting to her feet and walking over to his side of the table. She sat on the edge of the table and moved the book away from Giles, much to his annoyance.

“Giles, this more than just an assignment. This is about being responsible,” she explained. “Again I ask, what does that say about me if I’m not responsible enough to have a pretend dad for my egg-kid?”

“Buffy…” he began, his eyes darting to the egg when the table shook.

“Willow and Xander get to play ‘Mommy and Daddy’, even Cordelia has someone her egg can call dad!” Buffy jumped off the table and started pacing.

“Buffy…” Giles jumped to his feet and lunged across the table, grabbing the egg before it fell to the floor.

“Ummm…what are you doing, Giles?” she raised an eyebrow when she looked at the table, the sight of Giles stretched out on the tabletop confusing her.

Taking a deep breath, the Watcher pushed himself off of the table and stood in front of her and held the egg up in her line of vision.

“I may not have children of my own, but I do know that you should never turn your back when you have children.” A soft smile tugged at the corners of Giles’ mouth when Buffy gave him a sheepish look.

“See? This is why the egg needs two parents and not just one,” the Slayer told him as she gave the egg a quick glance. “I’ve only been a single mom for barely a day, and already the egg was almost hurt. If that was a real kid…I’m not cut out to do this on my own. I’m Buffy the vampire Slayer, not Buffy the single mom!”

“Buffy, you’re over thinking this.”

“I am so not over thinking this, Giles! I’m being responsible and thinking about my future,”

“Hold this,” he rolled his eyes as he held out the egg.

“What?” her eyes snapped up to him.

“Hold your child for a moment,” he shrugged off his jacket as soon as Buffy was holding the egg.

She watched her Watcher make a small little pallet out of his jacket, setting the bundled jacket on the table. He gently took the egg from her and set it on the jacket before he walked back over to her.

“If you’re going to put the egg on a flat surface…”

“It needs a bed,” Buffy cut him off. “I got it. Another reason why I shouldn’t be a single mom- I never would have thought of that.”

He rolled his eyes again and went back to the table, going back to reading the book. “Now that we’ve taken care of the egg, can we please get back to the vampire problem at hand?”

“I know what the problem is,” the blond replied as she sat next to Giles, moving the egg a little closer to her.

“Oh?” Giles looked over at her, a brief flash of hope in his eyes.

“A name,”

“Pardon?” he furrowed his brow at her answer.

“My egg needs a name, Giles. I can’t continue to it an ‘it’ or ‘the egg’,” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I can at least do one thing right as a mom.”

“Buffy, please try and concentrate.” He pushed the book away, turning to face her slightly. “Now is not the time to be Buffy, mother extraordinaire.”

“Which is why this whole single mom thing isn’t gonna work with me,” her fingers toyed with the sleeve of the bundled jacket. “How am I supposed to make a little bed?”

Without saying a word, Giles got to his feet and disappeared into his office.

“Giles!” Buffy whined.

She huffed and leaned back in the chair, her arms crossing as she stared at the egg. It was a few more minutes until Giles walked back to the table, a small white basket and some pink fabric in his hand.

“Why do you have those in your office?” she giggled.

Giles just smiled and arranged the fabric in the basket, his smile a full out grin by the time he was finished.

“What is that?”

“The egg needs a bed, yes?” he waited until she nodded her head in agreement before continuing. “I just build a bed for your egg…child…thing.”

Buffy just smiled as she watched Giles place the egg in the basket, taking a few more minutes to make it look as comfortable as possible. When the blond let out a small laugh, he paused what he was doing and pushed the makeshift bed towards her.

“What?” Giles asked when he saw her smile.

“Look at you, getting’ down with your dad-self.” Her smile grew when Giles blushed, looking down at the floor with a shy smile on his face. “Now I just need to think of a name,”

“I’m afraid that I’ll be of no help in that area,” he said as he sat on the table. “Perhaps you should name it after someone you know?”

“Like who?” Buffy questioned as she continued to toy with the jacket sleeve.

“Someone who think is worthy enough to name your egg after,” he explained, removing his glasses. “Preferably not Xander.”

“What’s the matter with naming it after Xander?”

“If you want your egg to be annoying when it grows up, or to tell horrible jokes, then nothing is wrong with naming it after Xander.” They both shared a smile, their gazes drifting towards the small egg.

“Eggbert.” Buffy nodded, breaking the silence.

“I’m sorry?” Giles looked up at her.

“I think I’ll name him Eggbert,” the Slayer looked up at him, a smile on her face.

“Why Eggbert?” the Watcher asked as he watched Buffy gather her belongings.

“C’mon, Giles. You’re smart enough to make that connection,” she smirked as she picked up the basket.

Giles looked down as he tried to figure it out, polishing his glasses as he did so.

“Let’s see if we can’t get Daddy to give us a ride home, huh Eggbert?” Buffy whispered to the egg before turning her attention to Giles. “Do you mind if you give me a ride home?”

“Huh? Oh…um…of course,” he answered, putting his glasses back on and getting to his feet. “Let me just put these books away and we’ll be on our way.”

Within half an hour, Giles parked his car along the curb in front of Buffy’s house.

“Thanks again, Watcher-mine.” She beamed as she opened the passenger side door.

“Any time, Buffy.” He looked down at the egg- Eggbert, he corrected himself- as he held it for Buffy. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, yes?”

“Where else would I spend my mornings at school?” she leaned into the car, laughing.

“Of course, it isn’t as if you have classes that you need to be attending.” Giles remarked, handing the Eggbert’s basket to her.

“Aren’t you gonna say bye to the little guy?” she asked, giving her famous pout.

“Good night, Eggbert. Be good for Mummy,”

They shared a laugh before Buffy closed the door and made her way towards the front door.

“You’ve got the best daddy in the world, Eggbert.” She told the egg as she walked into the house.